It’s the “hap- happiest season of all” so goes the line of a popular Christmas song. Lyrics like this are intended to inspire us to focus on joy and peace and good will to all men. What a great idea! And it is indeed, wonderful when this music inspires us and encourages us to fill this season full of caring, sharing and togetherness.
But let’s face it. Our expectations usually far exceed the realities of the season. In fact, we set ourselves up for a cycle that courses from disappointment to disillusionment and finally, depression. So let’s consider a few practical ideas to help us avoid being entrapped by unrealistic Holiday expectations.
Do you remember how Christmas was for you as a child? Recall the wish list and the endless pouring over those Christmas catalogs and sales flyers until the pages wore thin? Wasn’t it grand how they would decorate those department stores and shops with lights and tinsel? Christmas carols were played over the loud speakers inside and outside of the stores. And those Christmas television specials gave us ways to savor the holiday spirit indoors as we gathered around the set. It was the only time of the year I could stand to hear Perry Como sing. (I know…..I’m really dating myself on that one.) At commercial time when everyone ran to the kitchen for more egg nog, Mom would stay by the set to copy down the latest recipe from Miracle Whip. Back in those days before anyone knew what cholesterol was, they put that stuff in everything from asparagus to pancakes. Well, anyway, you get the message. Christmas was a part of the national landscape. It never dawned on me in those idyllic days there could possibly be a dark side of such festivities and gaiety.
This was before I came to understand that the holidays provide no real respite from the cold realities of death, disease, poverty and dysfunction. Sadly, this time of year with its bright lights, TV specials and merriment often serves only to contrast all the more the sad desperate issues we are facing.
So, what do we do? We put on an act. We act as if everything is OK. We fall victim to harmful myths and traps custom made to take advantage of our desire to find meaning and purpose during this season. We become desperate to create in our homes and our lives the fantasies we see in the Christmas T.V. specials. To mask our emptiness, we plunge into the deluge of commercialism and are tempted to run up our charge cards.
Let’s expand a little on some of the holiday myths and suggest a few ways to avoid them.
MYTH No. 1 Everyone has fun during the holidays. In reality, there are as many homeless, hungry and sick people as there are any other time of year. There are more masks worn during the Christmas holidays than there ever were at Halloween. To live in a state of denial during the holidays will only make the post-holiday season all the more difficult with which to cope.
MYTH No. 2 Families grow close at Christmas time. The truth is, dysfunctional and addictive behaviors don’t take a holiday break. If anything, they become more pronounced during this period. People typically abuse drugs and alcohol during a holiday period just as much as at any other time. This can make it difficult for families to achieve the closeness they desire to have. Don’t expect that a strained family relationship will suddenly become better simply because of a seasonal festive environment.
MYTH No. 3 Christmas brings out the best in people. The holiday season can be productive of good things but it also can encourage us to overindulge in eating, drinking, spending and sitting idle. In fact, many times these behaviors become more culturally acceptable and are even encouraged during this party-saturated period. These factors can arouse in people the tendency to become irritable and quarrelsome at work and at home.
MYTH No. 4 The great energies expended in creating such a festive season will bring great rewards. Unfortunately there is no guarantee that your great efforts will bring praise from the recipients. Keep your expectations at a reasonable level. Decide that you will enjoy giving to others regardless of how the gift is received.
POSITIVE THINGS YOU CAN DO TO MAKE THE HOLIDAYS ENJOYABLE -
Focus on the Moment at Hand – Enjoy the small things. Make a cup of coffee or hot chocolate and go over to a window where you can view nature. Consider how Winter is God’s way of letting vegetation slumber so it can reawaken in the Spring with all its majestic beauty, sights and fragrances.
Reach Out to Someone – Think of someone who could use some encouragement. Write them a card or letter. Give them a call on the telephone. Pay a visit to someone who might not have visitors during the Holidays. Have someone over to your home for a meal or holiday refreshments.
Consider the Reason for the Season – December 25 is an arbitrary date, and no one is sure what day Christ was actually born, but the tradition of celebrating His birth is pretty special. So, contemplate the origin of the Christmas celebration tracing back to the birth of Christ. Consider the wisdom in celebrating Christ on a daily basis as opposed to a seasonal basis. If you are not satisfied with your knowledge of Jesus and how his life affected history then resolve to understand him better by reading His story in Matthew, Mark, Luke and John in the Bible. As they say, wise men still seek Him. You will be empowered greatly by developing this relationship.
Focus more on people than things - Merchandisers are running full bore at this time of the year. Advertising will seek to convince us that unless we spend lots of money on gifts we will not get the most out of the holiday. We might also be disappointed in the gifts we received and allow that to cast a shadow over our time with people we love and care about. Most of us might as well admit that this one carries more weight than we would like to admit. Think it over and make a choice not to let this rob you of joy and fulfillment.
Spend quality time with your family and friends- Even with extra time off work during the holidays, we can allow ourselves to become a cog in the swift moving Christmas machine. Determine that you will seek to slow down, to unwind and relax. Allow yourself time to take a walk, play a board game with your family or phone someone you haven’t spoken with in a while. This adjustment should leave you feeling rejuvenated and energized more than anything wrapped in even the prettiest of paper.
A HOLIDAY WISH
It is my hope and wish for you that the holidays are joyous and productive of many good things. I encourage you to examine the core reason for the celebration of this season. Consider the importance of celebrating the life of Jesus Christ everyday not just during one season of the year. Jesus came to create something more than a seasonal tribute to his birth. He calls us to follow him….to be his people….to wear his name.
Observe the babe in the manger but don’t forget the man on the cross. Be moved by the story of Mary, Joseph and baby Jesus and how there was no room for him in the inn. But make the connection about our tendency to make no room for him in our everyday lives. Consider the meaning and purpose Jesus can provide to a life focused on him and his teachings.
Have a Merry Christmas! I mean that in the fullest of Ways.
-Gary Cleveland
